When life hands you lemons...

...sign up for a marathon. 




^pretty much my reaction when my husband suggested it last night



Actually, I think my exact response was, "That seems kind of impulsive."





I plan everythIng out in advance, like, we're talking really far in advance. So, the idea of spontaneously adding a marathon to my six month plan sent me into a bit of an anxious spiral. I've had plans for another marathon for quite awhile now, but wasn't supposed to be until after we'd had another baby; I was going to use marathon training as a way to get back in shape. 

2018 has been the worst year of my life, full of struggles, losses, and challenges I'd never imagined I'd have... and they've all pretty much happened in startlingly rapid succession. 

Exhibit A: 150+ mile months for the past four months

(recall the longest thing I've been training for is a 10K)

basically, I've been running the crazy out

The more my husband and I talked about the idea of a marathon, and what I get out of training for one, the more I agreed with him. My body's been handling marathon mileage (minus the >13mi long runs) for the past four months. Our life has been handling the marathon mileage for the past four months. Running has been the biggest thing keeping me sane through all of this, and the challenge of committing so fully to something might just be the distraction I need to let go of everything else in my life that's out of control. 

I've run two marathons, each of them for different reasons. I ran Flying Pig (2014) to do something I once thought was impossible ('when pigs fly"). I learned so much about myself from that first bout of training, from pushing myself beyond my limits. That marathon was truly about just covering the distance, nothing more. I ran Chicago (2016) for redemption. I wanted to actually train for a marathon, and have my finish time be more indicative of my abilities. That marathon was a celebration of what my body and mind were capable of, as well as a way to prove to myself that I could be a mother without losing the athletic part of myself. 

If I do a Spring 2019 marathon, it would be for catharsis, a way to bury the challenges of 2018, and come out the other side stronger. Sure, I could just train for the distance and not have a race, but there's something really appealing about all of those miles and weeks of training culminating in a single event. I'm still searching for closure on so many things, and this seems like it might be an ideal path towards that. Whether it happens sooner or later, after an interruption, I think the next marathon line I cross will enable me to put a lot of this behind me.