Anxiety/New Start

Week-beginning:

So. Stressed. 
Am I tired because I'm getting COVID? 
Is this post-nasal drip because I'm tired? Because I just went from 110 degrees to 58 degrees? Because I'm getting COVID?
Should I be sleeping in the same bed as my husband? What if I give him COVID?
Should I wear a mask in the house? What if I give my kids COVID and they get long COVID like me?
I JUST WANT TO RUN. 

Monday

Did: terrible sleep, full day of work

Post-nasal drip... negative COVID test

Tuesday

Did: terrible sleep, full day of work from home

Negative COVID test, slight headache.

Wed

Did: slept through alarm, terrible sleep, full day of work

No symptoms

Thurs

Did: terrible sleep, full day of work

Went for a walk at lunch.

Friday

Did: meh sleep, 45min 1/1 @ 11:34/mi avg

Very happy to do a easy walk/run with a friend this morning. Temperatures were in the high 58s, and I noticed my HR was much more in-line with what I used to have pre-COVID. Here's hoping? 

Saturday

Did: 2.5mi walk, 10min abs, 30min MBF

Started the day off with a nice walk to the kids' soccer game, did some abs on the picnic blanket between games, and wrapped up with a upper body workout. It was a good day.

Sunday

Did: 3.13mi @ 10:04/mi avg, 30min yoga

I wanted to run today, so I ran. It felt amazing, and I felt like I could've gone longer, but opted to hold myself to just a 5K, at a slower pace than I might've wanted to go. Here's hoping today marks a brand new start and slow return to normalcy. 

Week-end Feelings:

I'm really struggling trying to find the "right" path forward. Ultimately, no one knows what my body can/cannot handle, and there isn't a clear rhyme or reason for what prompts relapses in my training journal. 

I haven't had a relapse since 7/22. Doctors have found nothing, despite a bunch of tests. In the past month and a half, I've logged exactly 8 "runs" (all of them interval based with the exception of today's) for a total of 25mi. I've done walks most days, about a dozen MBF workouts (not as hard as I could, but solid effort), been working over 30hr/week (for the past month), and had a week in Phoenix. 

The hardest thing for me has been not having a plan, or a schedule, or any sense of "progress". Even when I'm 100% healthy (what's that like? it's been a year...), I crave that from running. My mental health has really suffered this year, and I'm hoping that by making a plan, I'll get some of my mojo back, which, hopefully, will have a positive impact on my physical health as well. 

Here's to (yet another) brand new start.