Anxiety/New Start

Week-beginning:

So. Stressed. 
Am I tired because I'm getting COVID? 
Is this post-nasal drip because I'm tired? Because I just went from 110 degrees to 58 degrees? Because I'm getting COVID?
Should I be sleeping in the same bed as my husband? What if I give him COVID?
Should I wear a mask in the house? What if I give my kids COVID and they get long COVID like me?
I JUST WANT TO RUN. 

Monday

Did: terrible sleep, full day of work

Post-nasal drip... negative COVID test

Tuesday

Did: terrible sleep, full day of work from home

Negative COVID test, slight headache.

Wed

Did: slept through alarm, terrible sleep, full day of work

No symptoms

Thurs

Did: terrible sleep, full day of work

Went for a walk at lunch.

Friday

Did: meh sleep, 45min 1/1 @ 11:34/mi avg

Very happy to do a easy walk/run with a friend this morning. Temperatures were in the high 58s, and I noticed my HR was much more in-line with what I used to have pre-COVID. Here's hoping? 

Saturday

Did: 2.5mi walk, 10min abs, 30min MBF

Started the day off with a nice walk to the kids' soccer game, did some abs on the picnic blanket between games, and wrapped up with a upper body workout. It was a good day.

Sunday

Did: 3.13mi @ 10:04/mi avg, 30min yoga

I wanted to run today, so I ran. It felt amazing, and I felt like I could've gone longer, but opted to hold myself to just a 5K, at a slower pace than I might've wanted to go. Here's hoping today marks a brand new start and slow return to normalcy. 

Week-end Feelings:

I'm really struggling trying to find the "right" path forward. Ultimately, no one knows what my body can/cannot handle, and there isn't a clear rhyme or reason for what prompts relapses in my training journal. 

I haven't had a relapse since 7/22. Doctors have found nothing, despite a bunch of tests. In the past month and a half, I've logged exactly 8 "runs" (all of them interval based with the exception of today's) for a total of 25mi. I've done walks most days, about a dozen MBF workouts (not as hard as I could, but solid effort), been working over 30hr/week (for the past month), and had a week in Phoenix. 

The hardest thing for me has been not having a plan, or a schedule, or any sense of "progress". Even when I'm 100% healthy (what's that like? it's been a year...), I crave that from running. My mental health has really suffered this year, and I'm hoping that by making a plan, I'll get some of my mojo back, which, hopefully, will have a positive impact on my physical health as well. 

Here's to (yet another) brand new start. 

Phoenix Week

Week-beginning:
So, I'm heading out to Phoenix for a week at the Sweet Adelines International Contest with my chorus, Song of Atlanta. Plans for the week: don't get sick.

Monday

Did: terrible sleep, packed for Phoenix

Tuesday

Did: flew to Phoenix, walked 6.2mi, 3hr chorus rehearsal
I landed in Phoenix around 7:30am local, so I had time to kill before my room was ready. Stored my bags in the hotel, changed, and went on a 10K walk. Part of me wanted to run, but the bulk of me was just far too anxious about what running in the heat, running that long, etc. could do to me for the rest of the week, so I kept it chill.

hello, desert wildlife

then we had rehearsal for a few hours

Wed

Did: 7mi hike/walk, 2x3hr chorus rehearsal

One of the few things I wanted to do while in Phoenix was get out for one hike. I found a few chorusmates who were also interested (and willing to mask while on the train), and planned out a route that would take us out for a 1/3mi hike to "Hole in the Rock", after about a 0.7mi walk from the light rail stop. 

We ended up missing our turn and walking for about 7mi instead. Oops. :/ 

 

It was a fun trip, though, and I really enjoyed spending time with other people. I'm definitely a bit of a extrovert, and COVID has really made life hard in that sense...

chorus rehearsal

Thurs

Did: 2hr chorus rehearsal + semifinals, 15min lift

We were #4 of 28 on stage for today's semifinals round. After a morning rehearsal and a kick-butt performance, I retreated to my room and kinda napped out for the rest of the day. Not sure if I was truly fatigued from my back-to-back 6+ mile walk days, or if it was more about anxiety about COVID, heat in Phoenix, or just not having anything I needed to do so I slept.

Friday

Did: 30min walk, 15min yoga, 2x3hr chorus rehearsal
Woke up, went on a walk with a friend (at 5am local), and hit the gym for a bit. We made finals so we had two rehearsals today prepping our finals package. I napped a bit in the afternoon, but might not have needed to if I didn't have the time to do so?

 

just plankin'

Saturday

Did: 30min MBF, 1hr rehearsal, chorus finals

I've slept like CRAP all week. I go to bed around 6:30pm local (9:30pm EST, my body clock), but then am up probably every 2-4 hours until I finally wake up for the day around 5am local (8am EST). This morning, I got up and decided to do a short MBF routine in the hotel gym. We were FIRST for finals, which sucked, but I still enjoyed the day. After our stage time, I joined the rest of the chorus in the convention center to watch the other competitors and await results. 

We finished THIRD in the WORLD. :D

and got "Most Entertaining"/"Audience Choice"

video

Sunday

Did: airport walking

Another looooooooooong travel day. I think I hit my 10K steps goal with all the airport walking. The day, however, was ruined a bit by learning upon arrival at my house that one of our chorus members had just tested positive for chorus. Of course, she'd been unmasked the entire time, including when talking to me before our shared flight. Cue the anxiety. 

Week-end Feelings:

Frustrated that being exposed to COVID means I'm probably going to take it easy this next week since I don't want to workout if I'm about to get sick, since I think that had a huge negative impact on me the first time around (since I didn't even know I was exposed and pushed through a 2x2mi tempo the MORNING before I came down with a 104 degree fever in the afternoon). 

Slow Comeback...

Monday

Did: 25min bodyweight workout

Tuesday

Did: 5mi of 1/1 @ 11:10/mi avg, full day of work, chorus

Wed

Did: nada, full day of work

Thurs

Did: 2.62mi of 1/1 @ 11:07/mi avg, full day in office

Friday

Did: 1/2 day in office, 30min MBF Total Body
Napped a bit in the afternoon, but might not have needed to if I didn't have the time to do so?

Saturday

Did: 3.8mi with stroller of 2.5min/30s @ 9:56/mi avg

Loved intervals with my little one

Sunday

Did: 30min MBF lower body, 30min MBF core

Week-end Feelings:

Mentally, I think I'm in a much better place these days. While I haven't been as active this week, I've been doing a lot more at work/home, and finally feel myself starting to wake up before the 6am alarm with the kids on non-run days. This is progress... though it's really hard to remember that, only a year ago, I ran my best marathon time ever... and now I can't remember the last time I ran multiple miles without a walk break. 

Testing the Waters

Monday

Did: 10min lifting, full day of work

Tuesday

Did: chorus, full day of work

Stressful overnight with some dental complications... . 

Wed

1.5hr walk, worked full day from home

Thurs

30min of 1/1, full day in office

Friday

1mi run in 10:25, 0.5mi walk, 25min treadmill (mostly walk, with some 2/1 at end), half day in office

Saturday

30min lifting workout... I think? then orchard with the family + drive up 

Sunday

hiking in the rain with my bestie and our fams

 

Week-end Feelings:

I'm still tired upon waking most days... but maybe that's normal and I'm just being hyper sensitive? Planning on three days of walk/run next week

A Walk-ful Week

Week Goals:

• keep up 30min walks each day (exception: Tuesday for chorus)
• work 32 hours (back to my "full time" schedule)
• continue tracking calories/nutrition

Monday

Did: 30min powerwalk, 30min lower body weights

Felt good working out, little "head cold" feeling after. Kids have the sniffles, so I'm a bit worried I'll be next... 

Tuesday

Did: 30min core/HIIT workout, 3hr at chorus

Felt tired in the morning and didn't walk with 10KTuesday-- opted for an in-home workout instead. I had a full day of work, and felt like I might be relapsing a little in the afternoon. Stuck it out and went to chorus, and felt good during, but was eager to get to sleep once I got home. 

Wed

40min powerwalk

Worked from home. Felt tired in the morning, and had a lot of post-nasal drip symptoms... Never wanted to run during the day, so I walked. Husband, kids, and I all had decent enough congestion symptoms to get COVID tests... which were negative.

Thurs

15min walk

Worked a full day in-office, had continued post-nasal drip and some head cold symptoms. 

Friday

40min powerwalk

Great sleep, but work up stuffy and stiffly... had a dental surgery, so I drove down early, walked for 40min, and then pretty much came home and slept due to meds wearing off/recovery

Saturday

1hr stroller walk

I felt good enough today to go for a walk with Squish, but also enjoyed a 2hr nap afterwards. I don't think this is related to my long COVID, but rather just the dental surgery recovery, though. 

Sunday

1hr stroller walk

If I could've safely worked out today, I would have done more, but the dental recovery instructions were pretty clear about no vigorous activity for a few days. 

Week-end Feelings:

I've gone over a month without a relapse, and feel like I've stabilized on the activities I'm doing. Hoping to add some run/walk in next week-- hopefully two days. 

I feel like I haven't done jack all month, but it's been nice to see that isn't the case. 

IDEFK

Since no one (including the six medical professionals I've visited) is able to help me figure out what I can/can't/should/shouldn't do, I guess this is like everything else in life: if I want it done, I have to do it myself. 

No one has even hinted at any physical limitations, telling me only "listen to your body" and "take it slow". If four f-ing months without real training isn't "taking it slow", then I'm at a loss as to what is. 

This week's "plan" was:

Exercise

• 30min exercise each day, with some component of that on my feet (walk, walk/run, powerwalk)
• (3) HIT/strength workouts (MBF, etc) 
• chorus/dancing (practice one of each of our 6 contest songs with singing/dancing 4x each night)

Sleep

• no screens 30min before bed (WHAT? like, my husband and I might just lay next to each other in bed and TALK?) 

Nutrition

• go back to tracking calories
• focus on veggie-ful meals
• plan meals and snacks
• tumeric supplement 

How it went:

Monday
MBF 30min Upper Body + 30min walk + 10min walk with kiddo

full day of work in-office

Felt good.

Tuesday

1hr walk w/10KTuesday, 2.5hr chorus rehearsal

full day of work in-office

Body didn't feel run-ready in the morning after multiple kid wake-ups overnight. Worried about potential to overstress myself with a full day of work AND chorus in the evening. Felt a little out of breath at chorus, but probably because I'm still wearing a full mask and we're doing back-to-back songs with strong voicing and lots of choreography.

Wed

MBF 30min Core + 2mi of 1min run/1min walk

full day of work-in office

Great, but short sleep. One minute seemed to be the right amount of time for my afternoon intervals, but I did finish up with 5min straight running. No HR issues. 

Thursday

30min walk, MBF 30min lower body

little tired in the evening

Friday

15min walk in morning, got 100% activity on my watch via steps in the house

another blood draw appointment at long COVID, site visit for work

Slept 9.5hrs and still woke up a little tired, but fine enough for functioning. Skipped my afternoon walk with Jerry in favor for finally finishing our last Marvel movie on the couch together, and then made up the rest of my daily activity doing quick steps inside the house in the evening. 

Saturday

3.37mi 1/1 intervals with stroller @ 12:00/mi avg, swam a few laps at the pool in the afternoon

active day with kids

The minute on this run seemed fast, and I was interested in continuing past it most times, but held firm until the end. 

Sunday

30min MBF total body, 3hr front row dance rehearsal

Week-end Thoughts:

It's been a month since my last relapse. Maybe I'm over it? Hoping to continue, yet again, trying to build up to anywhere close to what I was at. I've had a good week of watching what I eat, focusing on lifting (well, as much as I can do with my bum right wrist-- hooray, asymmetric workouts), etc. Sleep has seemed better. I'm not waking myself up as much throughout the night when I don't have screentime before bed, so that's a good takeaway. 

More uncertainty

 The last run I had was July 19. 

On July 21, my HR spiked to 190 within the first couple miles of an easy run. I felt crappy, but and walked for a bit so it could calm TF down... then resumed running. It spiked back. This happened three times, and then I said "f--- it" and walked home.

...and then I took a three+ hour nap, and spent the rest of the day on the couch, exhausted. 

Since then, I've had incredible depression and anxiety while trying to figure out WTF I'm supposed to do now. For a week, I was "okay" and got 20min lifting/30min walks in each day, really committed to "just don't run"... but there was lots of stress from wondering if I was doing the right thing, if even that amount of exercise coupled with life and/or a three-day chorus retreat (where we rehearsed 6hr Friday, 15hr Saturday, and 4hr Sunday, with limited sleep) was going to set me up for another crash just as my husband went out of town for five days. 

So I hit up the medical community. Since mid-July, I've seen my PCP, gotten referrals for long COVID clinics, been rejected from several long COVID clinics (due to having an inconclusive PCR instead of a positive one), been accepted at some, had to wait WEEKS for appointments, etc. Right now, I've spent a small fortune on tests and appointments with Infectious Disease, Cardiology, and Pulmonology (despite never even having a cough or chest tightness during COVID), and have really nothing that's been identified as a cause. The best I've gotten was, "go ahead an workout, just listen to your body". 

Um, kay, I was... and I still crashed... I just paid how much to be told "figure our your own limits". As if I wasn't already doing that... I couldn't figure out a pattern, and my workouts never feel like I'm pushing myself, so, yeah, thanks for that...